The Stages of Empathy

In this installment of "Stories That Shape Us," Paul Davis shares his experience playing Captain von Trapp in Leavenworth Summer Theater's performance of The Sound of Music. The interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.

Jennifer Vermeer: You’ve expressed a long-standing love for The Sound of Music and its themes. How has your understanding of the story, or your relationship to it, evolved over the years, especially now that you've had the chance to portray such an iconic character?

Paul Davis: As a general introduction, I’ll just mention that I absolutely love The Sound of Music movie! It’s certainly one of my Top 5 favorite movies of all time. I grew up looking forward to watching it every time it aired on TV (usually around Christmastime), and my family frequently watched it together. Since my father was a career naval officer and my mother was a music teacher, my four siblings and I kind of identified as von Trapp kids.

I’ve always admired Captain von Trapp’s strength, patriotism, and love of music, but for many years I thought of him as the almost invariably stern and reserved character portrayed by Christopher Plummer. That’s basically how I played him the first time I had the chance, which was for only two weekends in a community theatre production in 2014. My portrayal changed substantially, though, in 2022 when I got to play him again, this time professionally for an entire summer with Leavenworth Summer Theater. I believe I was a much better Captain that time around, thanks mostly to my Maria—an amazingly talented young performer from New York City named Maria Tramontozzi.

During rehearsals we talked through each of our characters’ story arcs, and she introduced me to some books about the real-life Captain von Trapp (including Maria von Trapp’s autobiography). I learned there was much more to the man than the movie version. Besides the whistle-blowing disciplinarian, he was also soft, vulnerable, and a lot more complicated than the almost one-dimensional guy in the movie. Working with Maria enabled me to get in touch with the broader range of his emotions and values. Contrary to what most people think (including me, at first), I don’t feel that the moment where Maria and the Captain had their truest connection was when they fall in love and get married in Act II; but rather, it’s in Act I after she confronts him for being such a distant father, and they sing The Sound of Music duet together. That’s the real moment of his redemption, where he once again becomes the person God called him to be: A good father, a good musician, and a good Austrian. Of course, he was also meant to be a good husband again, but that wouldn’t come until later in the story. Maria Tramontozzi played the role with wonderful energy, charm, and vocals. She brought out the best in me and I was blessed to have had such a good scene partner. She is a dear friend.

Jennifer Vermeer: What about the character of Captain von Trapp that resonates with you on a personal level?

Paul Davis: Without question, the aspect of Captain von Trapp’s character that resonates with me is his love for his children. And it’s notable to me that 5 of his 7 kids were girls. As I mentioned, the first time I played the role in 2014 I, for the most part, just channeled Christopher Plummer. When I got to Leavenworth in 2022, during the first rehearsal the director pulled me aside and said, “You seem to be doing a Christopher Plummer impersonation. It’s a good impersonation, but I don’t want Christopher Plummer as the Captain; I want Paul Davis as the Captain. What is something at the core of who you are?”

I thought about it for a few seconds, and I said, “I’m a girl dad. I love having only girls. I loved driving them home from ballet practice, I love talking to them about their dreams, and I love being wrapped around their fingers.”

The director said, “Perfect! That’s what I want you to be. Be a girl dad Captain!”

Jennifer Vermeer: Performing on stage often involves stepping into a character’s shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. How can this practice of empathy benefit Christians, helping them better understand and love those who are different from themselves?

Paul Davis: My experience of playing Captain von Trapp, both the onstage aspects and the offstage aspects, has done a great deal to help me live out one of Jesus’ central teachings, which is to love our neighbor as ourselves.

The parable of the Good Samaritan has always been my North Star in this regard, and the key to getting it right is recognizing the sharp distinction between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy keeps a safe distance and says, “I’m sorry for what you’re going through,” but empathy stands close enough to another person’s pain to say, “I want to understand what you’re going through so I can respond in a truly loving and helpful way.”

The Good Samaritan responded with empathy rather than sympathy, and an actor taking on a role, especially of a character with problems I’ve never really had, is an excellent way to become comfortable practicing the kind of empathy we need to love our neighbors as Jesus commanded. You can’t really play Captain von Trapp without first understanding his grief. He lost the love of his life and the mother of his children, and because of that pain he pushed music out of his home.

In real life, I’ve never known grief like that, but as the Captain I had to try to grasp what it must be like. It isn’t comfortable, but getting out of our comfort zones is a big part of what Godly empathy looks like. And, frankly, in addition to learning empathy by walking in our characters’ shoes, the offstage aspects of theatre experiences often take us out of our comfort zones, too. Theatre tends to attract an amazing variety of persons and personality types that a white, middle-aged, Christian lawyer like me would otherwise very rarely develop relationships with. The opportunity to work with and gain a close understanding of my castmates—some of whom were quite similar to me, but others who were very different from me-- was an invaluable means of becoming more comfortable with healthy empathy.

Jennifer Vermeer: You’ve mentioned your deep connection to the von Trapp children on stage—how did this bond influence your portrayal of Captain von Trapp? Were there any specific moments where this relationship impacted your performance in ways you didn’t expect?

Paul Davis: As I mentioned, I brought my “girl dad” energy to the role of Captain von Trapp for every single scene I had with the kids. Even for the early parts of the story, when I was supposed to be cold and distant, I never wanted to go too far with that attitude. For example, when they showed up wearing the clothes made from curtains, I played it more as just shocked and confused, rather than enraged. The greatest blessing to me from doing this show has been the kids, every time. The thing is, all four of my girls in real life are adults now, and none of them has been 5-16 (like the von Trapp kids) for a long time. I don’t have any grandchildren, like most of my friends my age. I sincerely miss having kids that age in my life, so getting to be even a pretend dad to so many wonderful kids was something for which I will always be truly thankful. In fact, for the scene when the Captain breaks down crying halfway through Edelweiss, and the kids gather round to help him finish the song, those were real tears in my eyes (and in some of theirs, too) at several performances!

Jennifer Vermeer: You've mentioned the importance of the natural beauty surrounding Leavenworth in your connection to the story. How did the setting itself—specifically, the beauty of the mountains and the landscape—enhance your portrayal of Captain von Trapp and the themes of The Sound of Music?

Paul Davis: When I was only 17, I got to spend the summer in Germany and Austria on a student exchange program, and part of it was 2 weeks in a small village in Austria, very close to Salzburg. So, I was able to get very familiar with all the locations where they filmed the movie, and where the real von Trapps actually lived. It was gorgeous, and one of the first things that hit me when I got to Leavenworth to do the show is how strikingly similar the East Cascades are to the Austrian Alps!

So much of what drives Captain von Trapp is his love of Austria, and when you look around at the natural beauty it’s easy to see why. I sometimes feel the same way about Washington, especially when I see the Columbia River and Mount Rainier. I’ve swam across one and climbed the other. They always say “home” to me. My favorite moment in the show is when I sing The Sound of Music duet with Maria. The way our director staged it wasn’t typical of the way it’s usually done, but I think he got it just right. Usually, it’s done with Maria and the Captain looking at each other. But that moment isn’t really about their love for each other (that’s a different song), but rather it’s about his love for Austria and her recognition that she’s having these strange feelings for him. So, up until the very last line of the song, I directly faced the audience (which represents “the hills” of the Austrian Alps), and Maria faced me (representing her growing realization that, “Maybe the Captain is my future”). For both of them, I think there is an essentially spiritual connection between natural beauty and the beauty of music—both of which are gifts from God that can heal our hearts and show us His will. That’s why I think the most powerful lyrics from any of the songs in the show are, “I go to the hills when my heart is lonely/I know I will hear what I’ve heard before/My heart will be blessed with the sound of music/And I’ll sing once more!”

One of the lesser-known joys of being in a good show is the many opportunities it affords to reminisce about it after it’s over. During the past two years, I was in New York City a couple of times during work trips, and I visited Maria and two other castmates who live there. The highlight of both trips was simply walking through Central Park with them, laughing and chatting about our memories of the shared experience we had telling the iconic story of the von Trapp family. The Little River Band had a big song 45 years ago about how nice it is to go “walking through the park and reminiscing…” That’s what we did, and I highly recommend it!

Jennifer Vermeer: You’ve shared how meaningful it was for you to connect with the cast and the natural surroundings of Leavenworth. How did your faith shape your ability to build such strong, authentic relationships both on and off stage during the production?

Paul Davis: One of the wonderful things about The Sound of Music is that there are so many essentially Christian themes in it. For example, practically everything about the story revolves around Maria’s primary goal, which in her words is to “find out what is the will of God and to do it!” Similarly, it’s also fascinating to see God’s providence at work in the lives of each character, or, as Sister Margaretta puts it, how “when God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.”

The show itself reflects these themes as it’s presented on the stage, and the process of preparing for the show creates opportunities to talk about the God behind those themes. Before each performance many of us would often pray together, and my prayer was usually to simply thank God for the chance to tell this beautiful story to so many people—a story about family, faith, music, love, and finding the purpose that God calls us to. It was such a joy getting to know the people in that cast and crew—we were certainly a diverse bunch, but we came together like a real family to tell the story of a particularly remarkable family. And even though not all of them have individually embraced faith in Christ, I cherish the fact that it was part of what we talked about offstage and part of the story we collectively told onstage.

Jennifer Vermeer: In what ways does being part of a collaborative, creative process like theater allow Christians to serve others and contribute to the broader community?

Paul Davis: I think the essence of proclaiming the gospel is, as the hymn puts it, telling “the old, old story of Jesus and His love.” At its core, theatre is storytelling. It can be a particular way to tell a good story, and it can generally help us to understand how to tell a good story. I love the storytelling process, especially when it is done with a community—and that’s what theatre lets us do: Tell stories and create community. Even if a theatrical production doesn’t directly communicate the gospel story, it can still convey truth, beauty, and virtue that draws both the performers and the audience closer to Christ--and that’s not nothing!

I’m immensely thankful that God gave me a decent singing voice. I love to use it when I’m alone to praise Him, and I love to use it by leading the Grace URC congregation in singing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. But He also gave me the heart of a girl dad, and those things together made me a decent Captain von Trapp. It has truly been an honor and a pleasure to use those gifts to tell this story and to be part of a community that values good storytelling.

And the thing is, there are lots of different gifts that people may have that can contribute to proclaiming the gospel and promoting Christian virtues through storytelling. Part of what I’ve learned through this experience is that simply being in the audience can at times be just as exciting and valuable as being on the stage! So, if you’re not in a show, go see one!