'I'm a little jealous of you this morning. I would love a future. To think in terms of a future seems to me now to be a luxurious privilege. I feel as if I am being fed a meal, blindfolded. I can see nothing. I don't know what the menu offers. And I can't even see the table. God is spooning me tidbits, bite by bite. Will the next bite be bread and butter, or chicken stew, or will the spoon be empty? I can only wait and wonder.

'You seem to be looking at a banquet. You have a fork in your hand and you choose your bites. Will it be strawberry shortcake or chicken cordon bleu? Hmmm. I think I'll have the chicken first and then finish off with the whipped cream and shortcake.

'That's what I'm jealous of-that seeing the meal and that choosing the next bite.'

Sharon Bomgaars, October 27, 2001